Sad & Worry

Assalammualaikum and have a great day by day. 

I'm feel so bad when I've just know that my family not getting well these day. Mama had a fever already 4 days. Abah had a bad cough right now, it's already one week. Acik also had a skin problem. Her skin become "naik bintik-bintik merah". When I ask her, what happen. She also don't know what happen to her actually. I'm not sure that she had an allergic to food or not. But I advised her to see a doctor before getting worse. My brother and his family also got a fever, because of the weather at Pantai Timur always changed. And my grandmother had a bad breathing nowadays.

Oh Allah, please heal my family pain and illness. Only You can heal them and only You can cure them

 Alhamdulillah, I'm feel good and well. After came out from the hospital last week. I'm feel better. But I'm just sad and worry because my whole family always get sick. I can't do anything. I'm pray that, they stay strong and patient. All this happen because of Allah love them. He never test us if we can't handle it by self.

Even my final examination not done yet. I decide to stay at Kuala Lumpur. I'll shuttle myself to UNITEN. So that, abah and mama doesn't feel alone at home and I can take care of them. I don't want to lose someone that I really loved for a second time. 

We're really miss you, Allahyarham Muhd Fahimi bin Ismail.

I can't imagine if someday my whole family already gone and just left me in this world. Honestly, I'm feel so regret and bad at that time. While I have them right now, let me take a chance did a good things to them. Thank you Allah give me a good and lovely family.

Hope that you guys also had a good family and always get blast from Him. 

-xoxo-

Goblin's qoutes Part 2

Episode 11
“Even if she was my sister (Sun) in her previous life, I am nothing to her in this life. She’s got her own life now. I wonder if I should let the past be of the past” -Kim Shin-
“That person named Kim Sun was very brave in the face of love” -Ji Eun Tak-
“One or two out of 100 are born with the same face as in their previous life.” -Kim Shin-
“We should both die together, that’d be the best – at the same time so nobody has to suffer alone with a broken heart.” -Ji Eun Tak-
“You will not die, I won’t let you die – I’ll stop it, I’ll always stop it!” -Kim Shin-

“I don’t know what door will open but I will not let go of you. I promise this so trust me. I might be a greater person than (what) you take me for” -Kim Shin-

“I cannot spend my life locked up at home – spending the rest of my days trembling here in fear wouldn’t be living at all. Even if I were to die tomorrow, I must live today.” -Ji Eun Tak-
“Protect me with your life and I’ll do my best to stay alive. I trust you!” -Ji Eun Tak-
“I know it’s impossible but I dreamed of a happy ending” -Grim Reaper-
“Fate is a question that I ask someone. And the answer… is something you must find yourselves” -Deity-

Episode 12

“I know (what longing would bring). Each time I long for it, I don’t know where it’s going to take me and it dreads me but I still miss it” -Grim Reaper-
“Birth Grandmother: ‘Why didn’t you create a perfect world without a sin (in the first place)?’
Deity: ‘Nobody would look for the almighty!’
Birth Grandmother: ‘Every child was conceived with love so stop torturing them! Get rid of the hands that’re covering his eyes. Let them recognize each other and make decision themselves.’
“Fate is a question that I ask someone. And the answer… is something you must find yourselves” -Deity-

“The ones left behind should live even harder. We might cry from time to time but we should smile a lot and cheer up. You are obligated to do that in return for the love you received” -Ji Eun Tak-

“A kid who’s nothing but nice – that’s why you light up this world. Remember, your good nature is what will bring you luck” -Birth Grandmother-
“It’s French for ‘Fate ordained by the sky’ – the absolute destiny far beyond the realm of humanity” -Kim Shin-
“No blind dates, no romance, no Tae Hee oppa. No man is allowed within 30m radius of that necklace. That’s what I make of your fate!” -Kim Shin-
“Everything about me is wrong. I sincerely hope this choice is the right one. As I’m not alive, I have no name yet you asked after me. Thank you for that.” -Grim Reaper-
“The kiss of the Grim Reaper brings back memories of your past life. I fear what I was in your previous life. But I wish you’re left only with good memories. I hope that a part of them are memories of your older brother and I hope that he is Kim Shin” -Grip Reaper-

“Leave only the shining, happy memories and forget all the sad & hard moments whether they were in your past life or present… and forget about me :(” -Grim Reaper-

“I hope you at least have the happy ending” -Grim Reaper-
“Was I really Wang Yeo? The feeling without memories… Is that the punishment I gave myself so I won’t forget who I was?” -Grim Reaper-
“It seems I was the source of the worst memories to both you my love and to Kim Shin” -Grim Reaper-
 
Episode 13
“If you two had been fated to pass each other by, you would’ve done so. And if you two had been fated to meet, you two would’ve met” -Ji Eun Tak-
“Whether it’s the first or fourth time, every single time is important” -Birth Grandmother-
“The world needs miracles – beautiful & strange miracles” -Ji Eun Tak-
“How could you tell me to only remember the happy times but (to) forget you? Because every moment I spent with you was a happy one, even if each and every moment with you was also sad & difficult. So did my dying to protect you become your happy ending?” -Sunny-
“Meeting you was the reward of my life” -Kim Shin-
“I’ll try asking God to let me come back with the first snowfall of the season” -Kim Shin-

Episode 14

“Remember! You must remember!
His name is Kim Shin. He’s tall, has a sad smile. He’ll come as a rain. As the first snowfall.
He’ll keep his promise.
Remember! You must remember!
You are his bride.” -Ji Eun Tak-

“The Almighty said ‘you have been erased from the memories of all who knew you. That is for the sake of their peace and it is my grace’. He also said ‘your punishment is over. That you can forget everything and sleep. Be at peace’. But the goblin’s eyes filled with tears.” -Birth Grandmother-
“Now I see what choice I made… I will remain here and become rain. I will become the wind. I will become the first snowfall… I ask for your permission just for that one thing.” -Kim Shin-
“Memories will soon get forgotten, only the glorious futility will remain. He (Goblin) will keep walking in that futility. What’ll happen to him after that endless walk? Where will he arrive at?” -Birth Grandmother-
9 years later
“On that desert, he was so lonely that he sometimes walked backwards (because) he wanted to see the footsteps in front of him.” -Kim Shin-

“I should’ve done this 900 years ago. Please forgive me for saying it so late. Please forgive me for not protecting my love or you, who protected my Goryeo. I had received love, but I didn’t love anyone. Please forgive me.” -Grim Reaper-

“I missed her very much. When I look at her, I think she will run into my arms but because I know that won’t happen, my heart aches” -Kim Shin-

Episode 15
“The future I saw was right. You ended up meeting this guy. I’m embarassed I cannot stop smiling ^_^” -Kim Shin-
“Ji Eun Tak: ‘I heard the memory about first love often gets glamorized and you get disappointed when you meet again.’
Kim Shin: ‘No, it isn’t true. She’s still beautiful'”
“Don’t you think oblivion is the deity’s way of showing grace? So you won’t fall in agony” -‘lil boy-
“To the one who thought that oblivion would bring me peace of mind, the moment our eyes met I knew that you too retained your memories. Hence in this life, we”ll have to live in each of our happy endings and ignore this tragedy. I pray that in our next life the wait will be short and the meeting will be long. That we won’t need an excuse to see each other – entitled with our own dearest names so we would greet each other when we accidentally run into each other with out love always be the solution. I pray we can meet like this.” -Sunny-
“Sometimes you are Kim Woo Bin, sometimes you’re Wang Yeo. Please live a long & happy life.” -Sunny-
“I’m saying this because today is just about right.
I’m saying this because you’re still shining.
I’m saying this because you were that first love.
On another day that’s just about right,
will you be my bride?” -Kim Shin-

Final Episode (Episode 16)
“I will.
I will be the bride of this lonely man.
I will be the first & the last bride of this beautiful man.” -Ji Eun Tak-

“Was there anyone who made your heart pound? Anyone you missed to the point of wanting to cry? Was there anyone who made you think you would be willing to die for that person?” -Secretary (CEO) Kim-

“You didn’t care about the people around you or how the world works. That’s why I’m waiting for you to ask questions that an adult would ask. About the world, the joy, the sorrows of those around you” -Secretary (CEO) Kim-
“Give me a little more time, I will do my best to grow up” -Deok Hwa-
“I love all the roads we will walk together. I love all the sceneries we will see together. I love all the questions we will shyly ask each other and all the answers to those questions.  I love you in all those moments. From your bride…” -Ji Eun Tak-
“Maybe this punishment ends when we become desperate for life” -Grim Reaper-

“Every human dies at some point, that’s why life is even more beautiful… The first thought I had once I got my memory back was to live each day as if it were my last. If today is my last day, this will be my final memory of the person I love so I’d better live hard and love” -Ji Eun Tak-

“Kim Shin: Until death parts us, every word that you say whatever it may be… me too.
Ji Eun Tak: Until death parts us, every word that you say whatever it may be… me too.”
“A human’s sacrifice is something the almighty cannot predict. It wasn’t a part of his plan that’s because it’s a momentary instinct and a choice that solely made by that human. It is a choice only humans can make” -Grim Reaper-
“Do you remember what I said before? The person left behind has to live (his life) to the fullest. You’ll cry sometimes but you’ll also laugh & live bravely – that’s the proper response to the love given to you” -Ji Eun Tak-
“Don’t be heartbroken for a long time. I’ll come to see you again so wait for me and don’t make it rain too much” -Ji Eun Tak-
“I’ll be gone for just a while. I promise. This time, I will come to you. I will come looking for you. In our next life, I will make sure to be born with a long life and stay by your side for a long time. I will beg divinity to let me do that” -Ji Eun Tak-
“You have to come even if it takes 100 or 200 years, I’ll wait for you!” -Kim Shin-
“That day, missing soul walked through the tears of someone. Tides of time got carried away by the rainfall. It was a very long rain. Missing soul left this world without a guardian after leaving one behind – a very lonely & beautiful guardian.” -Grim Reaper-
“I’m happy I get to see you before I leave. I’m sorry for going first & leaving you behind. Please take care of yourself and let’s meet again sometimes” -Sunny-
“My sister, my friend and my bride have all left. And as always, I’m left all alone” -Kim Shin-
“Some people shine later on in life” -Mechanic-
“Every life is touched by a deity at least once. Just when you’re drifting away from the world, if someone nudges you back in the right direction, that’d be when the deity chooses to visit you” -Kim Shin-
“As I sent the lantern flying that night, I prayed that my sister in her future and my master in his future would meet again one day. And when they meet again, they will be happy. That’d be my wish” -Kim Shin-
“I liked you first, that’s my state… No, that’s my confession” -Detective Lee Hyuk-
“[Future] Ji Eun Tak: Ahjussi, you know who I am, right?
Kim Shin: The first and the last goblin’s bride”

Goblin's qoutes Part 1

 

Here I just want to share qoutes from Goblin KDrama with you guys. 

Episode 1

“When a powerful desire indwells in things touched by mortal souls, they become Goblins. A blade smeared with blood from countless battles enchanted with a powerful desire covered with its master’s blood. Only the bride of the Goblin will be able to draw the blade and once drawn, everything will turn to ashes & peace will be granted” *Grandma Fortune-teller*

“At a moment of life & death, make a wish with a powerful desire – a soft-hearted Creator might grant you that wish” *Grandma Fortune-teller*

“He (Goblin) is… the water, the fire, the wind, the light & the dark. And he was once a human”

“The souls of your people are saving you. However, the blood of thousands (people) are on your sword as well as the blood of your enemies who’re also descendants of deities. You shall be immortal and watch your loved ones die. You won’t forget a single death as this is the award I give you & the punishment you shall receive. Only the Goblin’s bride shall remove the sword. Once the sword is removed, you shall return to ash & be at peace”

“If there’s a divinity in this world, I’m that ‘anyone’ -Kim Shin-

“Ji Eun Tak: ‘What does buckwheat flower mean?’

 
Kim Shin: ‘lover'”

“Who are you to judge whether I am valuable or not?” -Ji Eun Tak-

“Live in reality, not in rumors!” -Kim Shin-

“I’ve made up my mind… I will marry you – I really think you’re the goblin! I love you!” -Ji Eun Tak-

Episode 2

“If you catch a falling maple leaf, you will fall in love with the person you are walking with… It’s like how they say you will marry your first love if you catch a falling cherry blossom.” -Ji Eun Tak-

“Oblivion is part of the blessing” -Wang Yeo-

“I once considered my endless life a reward but in the end, it’s a punishment.” -Kim Shin-

“Hello, I’m Ji Eun Tak. I will become your bride in about 200 years. Even about 200 years later, you are still handsome. You’re kind of mean at times but don’t worry – you’re doing well.” -Ji Eun Tak-

“On this rainy night, what is your umbrella? The voice that responds when you call. The memories of seeing the same thing at the same time. The first time you matched each other’s pace. Did someone come to mind? Yes, that’s the person…” -Radio DJ-

 

“Stay close but not too close. It had better be important enough to stay close or you are dead!” -Kim Shin-

“Do you get summoned when I’m just thinking about you?” -Ji Eun Tak-

“I don’t mind seeing you while promising our future. I love you! :D” -Ji Eun Tak-

“I hope I get an umbrella in my life” -Sunny-

“When I’m not here, you should just slack & not work because if you work harder when you are not being watched, the owner would not know about it!” -Sunny-

“Fortune-teller: Your life is like a sail boat in an open sea.
Sunny: I hope I’m on that boat alone with a handsome man.
Fortune-teller: I see a man in your life, watch out for the man with a hat! A pit-black-hat.”

“Don’t look for death as it will find you!” -Wang Yeo-

“Don’t underestimate my power to foresee the future. You were thinking about her, Goblin!” -Wang Yeo-

“Shouldn’t you apologize like a man if you hurt her feelings? You are pathetic! Man up and tell her you are sorry!” -Deok Hwa-

“He (Goblin) saved his bride’s life – that’s very romantic :)”

Episode 3

“The resentment and the desire for revenge are making you miserable” -Wang Yeo-

“I know I had my ups & downs but I like the life I’m living. I was greatly loved by my mom, I even found myself an umbrella & I’m pleased to have met you” -Ji Eun Tak-

“Act of responsibility, willingness to become better; people call it ‘apology’ -Kim Shin-

“One is suffering from losing the memory of the previous life while the other is suffering because he cannot forget. The two are depending on each other” -Grandfather-

“I cannot find that girl – all my possessions are of no value to me” -Kim Shin-

“Whenever it rains, I’ll think you’re feeling down from now on. It’s not like I have anyone else to rely on, now I’ll have to worry about you on top of that” -Ji Eun Tak-

“Have you heard this? Humans have four lives: a life of planting seeds, a life of watering the seeds, a life of harvesting and a life of cherishing the harvests” -Ji Eun Tak-

Episode 4
“Ji Eun Tak: I can see it (the sword) since the first time I met you. What does that make me now? Am I still not the Goblin’s bride?
Kim Shin: I think you are”

“A part of me is relieved to meet the end of this eternity but it’s not that bad as a part of me still wants to live” -Kim Shin-

“Ever since I found I’m the Goblin’s bride, I’ve been waiting for you for a very long time” -Ji Eun Tak-

“I don’t look up to the sky to see the stars anymore, why should I? I can just look at your eyes” -Ji Eun Tak-

“I was worried you might hear me so I was really discreet when I thought about you. I even sang in between my thoughts. While looking at the maple leaf, I made excuses to myself trying not to think about you!” -Ji Eun Tak-

“I shed a tear when I met a woman I’ve never met before” -Wang Yeo-

“Your choice is the only answer in your life” -Kim Shin-

“Ordinary people cannot forget the moment of miracle”

“You are the first and the last (bride)… because I chose it to be that way” -Kim Shin-

“I’ve been waiting for someone my entire life… my love. I don’t like younger guys, I’d prefer a king on a white horse” -Sunny-

“I have you, you’ll be by my side – I wouldn’t mind living forever” -Ji Eun Tak-

“It’s been almost 1000 years, I can’t stay sad for that long. I’m a brave Goblin who has accepted my fate. Even the deepest sorrow cannot last a thousand years and the most profound love cannot last a thousand years” -Kim Shin-

“I see! That’s why they say love quarrels are like cutting water with a sword”  -Ji Eun Tak-

“Mass isn’t proportional to volume.
A girl as small as a violet, a girl who moves like a flower petal – is pulling me toward her with more force than her mass.
Just then, like Newton’s apple, I rolled toward her without stopping until I fell on her with a thump.
My heart keeps bouncing between the sky and the ground.
It was my first love” -Kim Shi

Episode 5
“Life is a mixture of all sorts of genres. What genre was your day today? Rom-com? A strange but beautiful fantasy? A sad melodrama?” -Ji Eun Tak-

“Her smile reflected the light of the sun when it is the brightest.” -Kim Shin-

“Ji Eun Tak: Ahjussi, do you love me?

Kim Shin: I will if you need me to. I love you.”

“You and I started long before you were even born” -Kim Shin-
“At the age of 29, you’re still shining. But I am not by your side. My life of eternity has finally come to an end. Times after my death, you are still here. You have forgotten me & your life is perfectly complete with me gone. I have to disappear to make you smile. In the end, that’s the decision I’ve made” -Kim Shin-

Episode 6
“This sword is the punishment. However, even if it’s a punishment, isn’t 900 years enough?” -Kim Shin-

“It’s not a punishment! The deity wouldn’t have given you those abilities as punishment. If you were a bad person, he would’ve created only the goblin. He wouldn’t let you meet the goblin’s bride to remove the sword!” -Ji Eun Tak-

“There is no life that deserves to die.” -Grim Reaper-
“Life is a momentary thing. You come & you go” -Ji Eun Tak-
“I’m humbly accepted my fate & is living a brave life as the goblin’s bride” -Ji Eun Tak-
“Every moment I spent with you… shined. Because the weather was good, because the weather was bad and because the weather was good enough. I loved every moment of it. No matter what happens, it is not your fault!” -Kim Shin-
  
Episode 7
“If it doesn’t work again, there’s only one answer: true love” -Ji Eun Tak-
“Could you give up trying to die & consider living instead? Because of you, some people in the past were able to turn a new leaf. Wouldn’t it be nice if they were to benefit from a strange but beautiful stroke luck of miracle?” -Grandpa-
“My face is my business card, it says right there: “Pretty person!” -Sunny-
“Sunny: What do you like?
Grim Reaper KWB: You
Sunny: You’re driving me crazy  Not that. Like hobbies / things like that
Grim Reaper KWB: You… Your unpredictable acts draw me in more than a drama does. Your unpredictability incites my imagination.”
“My power is staying alive” -Kim Shin-
“I was obsessed to become your bride because it felt like we’re becoming family (I never had) that I thought I could have” -Ji Eun Tak-
“The oracle was right. The future I foresaw was correct. With this girl’s help, I will be able to end this curse of eternity and return to ash. A mortal soul can live up to 100 years – is what I’m looking for my life as an immortal soul or your face? I think it is your face” -Kim Shin-


 Episode 8
“I’m really the (your) bride, this was my destiny” -Ji Eun Tak-
“Who says first loves don’t work out? I don’t like this” -Kim Shin-
“Having to like you… I couldn’t be more foolish” -Kim Shin-
“That sword is his reward & punishment, his reason for existing and the clue to his extinction” -Grandpa-
“You are my life & my death. And I… like you. Thus, I keep this secret and ask above for permission. May you not know for one more day, for 100 more years” -Kim Shin-
“She was born to pull out your sword – no, you gave her that fate. She will become useless if she doesn’t do what she was born to do as there will be no reason for her existence. If she fails to pull out the sword, she will continue to face death” -Birth Grandmother-
“One day after 100 years, when the weather is good enough, I hope I will be able to tell her she was my first love. I ask… above for permission” -Kim Shin-

Episode 9
“I, who have lived hundred years. On a day that’s just right, it was first love. So that I could confess. So that the Heavens would permit, I am asking” -Kim Shin”

“All the time I’ve spent with you were all blindingly bright. Because the day was good, because the day wasn’t good, because the day was just right. All the days were good. And also, whatever happens… it’s not your fault” -Kim Shin-

“I wish you would continue to need me. I wish you would ask that of me.
I wish I could use permission as an excuse… With that excuse, I wish I could stay alive… with you.” -Kim Shin-
“I need you. That’s all I ask of you! I Love You!” -Ji Eun Tak-

Episode 10
“One mustn’t put too much strength in the hand that’s holding something lowly. If you clench on it because it is precious, that lowly & precious thing is bound to die” -Park Joong Hun-
“I want to hold your hand & hug you but… I should at least know whose hand I’m holding and who I’m hugging!” -Sunny-
“Instead of focusing on getting over her fast, you should focus on what helps you heal”

FOCUSED & KEEP CALM

Assalammualaikum and hye, 

Okay actually I'm not done with my final exam yet but I'm just get a little bored just keep my eyes on paper. So that, I decide to update my blog while waiting my study mood come again. Yeap, it's already 1am peeps. Oh god, I need sleep but I can't. WHY ? Because I've just drink coffee and try to stay up this night to study and be more focused. 📚

"Oh Allah, please ease my way and my degree at UNITEN"

It's raining now while listening to instrumental song and hot coffee besides me ☕. Such a great time right now. Signals & Systems is the subject that I really hard to understand. Even the lecturers very kind give high carry marks but I still want to understand what is Signal & Systems actually. So my planned is to keep read all the notes from other lecturer, do past year final exam and last thing is memorize the theory that important. I hope this Thursday, the question is not hard to answer and to understand.

 

 I can't wait to end my final exam. I think this semester is the hectic semester for me. I don't know what happen next semester which is my special semester. I've decide to take special semester every semester so that I can finish my degree quickly and get a job. Aamiin. 

After this final exam, I've just 2 weeks only to spent time with my family and friends (DIPS). Maybe this 2 weeks I'll go to Kelantan, because of my grandmother not feeling so well nowadays and mama also need to take medicine at Hospital Pengkalan Chepa. So I'll company her since I'm in holiday mood ✈

Bytheway, I've just thinking that. I want to find myself again. A girl who always happy and smile even have a problem. A girl that always calm and patient with people surrounding her. And now I realized that "not all people will like us, not all people will care and patient with our attitude and not all people will always besides us when we had a problem" so that, we need to stand up and keep calm and try to handle or control it byself. Even it's hard, keep faith to Allah, believe Him. He will ease our journey no matter it is💗.

• KEEP FAITH TO ALLAH SWT.
• ALWAYS PRAY FOR YOUR PARENTS, FAMILY, TEACHER, FRIENDS AND PROPHET
• BE KIND PERSON, CHILDREN, DAUGHTER, SISTER, STUDENTS, WIFE AND MOM 
• DON'T MISS YOU SOLAT. 
• KEEP DU'A AND DU'A. 
• SEDEKAH. 

Finally, don't ever push yourself. Don't pressure yourself. If you cannot keep it. Find Him or a friends that can hear all your problems and wipe your tears. And In shaa Allah you will calm after that. May Allah blast you guys. Have a nice and sweet sunny day tomorrow ☀

-xoxo-

Bukan Aku

Tak mudah aku jalani
Hidupku tanpamu di sisi
Hari-hari ku tangisi
Segala memori janji ku mungkiri

Aku lepas semua pergi
Bukan kerna aku benci
Tapi kerna ku terlalu mencintai

Percayalah oh sayangku
Nikmati dulu usiamu
Nanti kau temu cintamu
Bukan aku

Engkau masih aku rindu
Walau tak pernah engkau tahu
Hanya satu harapanku
Moga kau selalu maafkan diriku

Aku lepas semua pergi
Bukan kerna aku benci
Tapi kerna ku terlalu mencintai

Percayalah oh sayangku
Nikmati dulu usiamu
Nanti kau temu cintamu
Bukan aku

Usah bimbang sayangku
Nikmati dulu usiamu
Nanti kau temu cintamu
Bukan aku

2 days before final exam

Assalammualaikum and hello world .... 

************************************

It's a long day. 

Really, really and seriously too tired for this month and next month. I don't know why this semester, I'm feel I don't have time to get enough rest and peaceful time. Too much thinking is my habit tho. Last two weeks busy with assignment, replacement class at night. And group's project. Alhamdulillah everything going well. 

Actually, I've just back from hospital. I was admitted to hospital. I've got a bad fever, low blood pressure and nose bleeding non-stop. The nearest hospital from UNITEN which is Hospital Serdang. So, my friends suggest to see doctor before a bad thing happen to me. 

Doctor said that I was too much stressed and not enough sleep. That's why my body always feel that exhausted. So, along 5 days at hospital. I'm busy with my notes because this Sunday will be my first paper for final exam. But still cannot focused. Mama, Abah and Acik come on 2nd day and mama stay with me at night side and morning Abah will come again. 

5 days is too long for me. Too bored stay at hospital. Again and again. 

Tomorrow morning, I hope I can focus on my books. 

Thank you Amira, bring me to hospitals. Iloveyou. 

Oh Allah, please ease me to focus and answer my final exam. Aamiin. 

-xoxo-

never mind, i can move on

Assalammualaikum and hye girls, 

Okayy, okayyy and okayy. What i want to talking about right now. 

Hurm .........

Actually I dont have a special topic for today. I'm too busy for my presentation project this week and my final exam already around the corner which is start on Sunday next week. 

I don't know why I can't focus on my project, my studies and my exam. I don't know what I am thinking right now. My mind can't stop working start yesterday. Just thinking something nonsense that wasting my time too. Too tired thinking and care about someone. 

From now on, I don't want care about others that already cheated on me. I just wanna stay with my parents, my family, my siblings, my fruit son, my cousin and my friends only. Honestly, I didn't feel like this before ni. 

For a long years and until yesterday, I care about you but now, I'm 100% CHANGED. I'm not the same person anymore. So today, my new mission for this 2017, I want to focus my studies, my business and my family. I hope that when I'm already graduated I can get a good work to repay back all my mama abah gave me before this. And I just want to travel with my family and my friends which is (DIPS). I'm too in love with them right now. They always have besides me even I make a bad attitude in front of them.

Now, I missed my brother. He already passed away 3 years ago because of an accident at Kuala Lumpur. I missed his smile, his voice, his jokes and his touch. Everyday when I look at my things that related to him before this. I'm always cry alone in my room, in my car and sometimes in bathroom. But, Allah love him. Truly love him much. That's why He takes him from me because He love him too much. Al-fatihah. Lin always missed Angah. All our memories always inside my heard and my minds. Thank you because being a good brother for 27 years. I hope we can meet someday.

This February, I will company my mama to hospital Kubang Kerian because she had another appointment. So I need to stay with her along her treatment in the ward. May Allah bless you, mama. We love you till Jannah. We always beside you mama. 

Have a nice dream tonight. 

-xoxo-

Thank you

thank you for lying to me.
thank you for cheating me.
thank you for hurting me.
thank you for breaking every promise you ever made to me.
thank you for breaking up with me through texting.
thank you for coming back and putting the blame on me.
thank you for pretending to be everything you aren't.
thank you for destroying the part of my world i had just started to rebuild.
thank you for making it feel impossible to trust anything.
thank you for leaving scars deeper than i could see.
thank you for not understanding why i couldn't just forgive you when you apologized.
thank you for at least saying that your sorry.
thank you for at least saying your going to change, even though we both know better.
thank you for all you've done for me. my therapist really appreciated it.
thank you for making me feel like i was special, and likeable even if it was just for a moment even though you used me, you will always be the first.
thank you so, very much for starting to prepare me of the world and people out there!

  

Dedicated to MTH 

 

-xoxo-

Away ..........

 

Maybe, I should just leave. 

It's a hectic month !

Assalammualaikum and hye, 

This month and early next month, my life is getting miserable. Because of what ? Because I'm still student. I need to focus on my final exam next 6 days from now and my project. Actually I'm preferred did the project by-self. But the lecturers tell us to do in a group. Group for me its complicated. Difficult to communicate each other, always have misunderstanding. But sometimes, group give so many benefits. 

Like this semester, I've got 3 project that did in a group. Which is Numerical Method for Engineers, Electromagnetic Field & Wave and Kepimpinan dan Keusahawanan. Sometimes, they didn't give cooperation at all. Just let me did all things. I don't mind. For me, I just want the project and assignment finished and submit on the due date given. 

At the same thing too, if someone doesn't understand our situation. And push us when we're busy or bad mood. Of course, there's a problem there. 

Why not just listened what is the problem ? Why you need to lost or faded yourself just like that ? You know what, you already win make someone miserable. 

"If you love someone with your pure heart, you doesn't care about how bad she is. But you need always stay by her side. Hear all her problems that she face everyday. Make her laugh on her bad day. And spent your time, because she needs you" 

I'm preferred to stay at my own house at Kuala Lumpur rather stay at UNITEN. Stress with housemate that doesn't think and care surrounding. Make a noise at the same time I'm going to study and focus. But when I'm home, I'm feel like heaven. Stay beside my mama and abah. It's enough for me to calm and focus my paper coming soon. 

Finally, I hope even we had a bad feeling of someone. Just two words that we need to do. Forgive & Forget. But she/he doesn't care, just leave and move on. That's all. 

Good night and sweet dreams all. 

-xoxo-

New mission in new year

 

Happy new year. Hoping that this year will be more bright and blast from Him.

Have a nice day girls and boys

-xoxo-

Faded

Assalammualaikum and morning in advance. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A little sad story. 

I decided to delete my twitter and instagram. Because, from that social network someone that I love and I believe will know all my news and my routine everyday. I love update all my daily life at twitter. Since he already had twitter's account. And we turned back to complicated, so I decided to deactive & delete all my social networks. 

I'm not important person anymore to you. So, you don't need to care and worry about me for now. I can handle myself. 

Love is hard. I thought love can taught me about caring, loving, spent time and understanding each other but its turn to a wrong way. It's okay Ili. I know you can control your emotional and your daily life after this. Even its hard but you need to struggle to survive alone without him anymore. Let's make sure that you can score your degree to get CGPA 3.8. In shaa Allah you will get a good job and good life. Have faith to Allah. Don't skip pray and make du'a. 

Come on Ili. Wake up and smile again. It's just a beginning. Not the ending yet. 

I'm speechless, mindless and heartless. It's a long day wait him to text me back. He doesn't think to give a small respond. Its bad day to me. It's okay. You are a strong girl actually. 

Even when your second brother had passed away 3 years past. You'll never to cry hard because Allah took him. Because you're strong woman. Take a deep breath.  Flashback all the memories and slowly make it fade.

People change (Like him told me before this) 

So, I hope I wake up tomorrow morning with a big smile and I hope I can focus test tomorrow night. Since 2 days past my nose was bleeding and bad headache, I push myself to think of myself right now. WHAT AM I DOING ? IS IT RIGHT ? It's just a stupid question to a stupid person like me. HA HA HA. 

Have a nice day and may your love is true.

-xoxo-