Rindu

 

Assalammualaikum Angah, 

Sedikit coretan ikhlas dari adikmu. 

Genaplah 4 tahun beraya tanpamu, Angah. 

Gambar raya sekeluarga yang tidak lengkap. 

Suasana raya yang jauh beza berbanding sebelum ini dengan kehadiranmu. 

Baju rayamu masih tersusun rapi didalam almari dibungkus dengan plastik.

Betapa kami menjaga kesemua barang-barangmu yang kau tinggalkan. 

Adikmu ini yang dilahirkan dengan sifat yang sangat manja. 

Manja dengan abang dan kakaknya. 

Apatah lagi bermanja denganmu sewaktu kau ada didunia ini. 

Setiap hari kenangan baru kita ciptakan sama-sama. 

Apa yang kau suka, adikmu turut suka. 

Suaramu, wajahmu, tawamu dan gurauanmu. 

Jujur adikmu ini sakit menahan kerinduan yang melampau didalam hati. 

Seperti semalam kita keluar bersama pergi beli makanan kucingmu. 

Pertemuan terakhirku denganmu sungguh tidak diduga. 

Disaat itu aku meminta pertolongmu untuk menghantarku di LRT disebabkan aku bersemangat untuk memberi sokongan kepada seseorang yang aku suka dan sayang dulu. 

Jikalau aku tahu saat itu adalah saat terakhir aku melihatmu Angah. 

Adikmu ini sanggup berpatah balik dengan apapun hanya untuk menghabiskan masaku denganmu. 

Jujur adikmu ini dapat merasa sesuatu benda buruk akan berlaku sepanjang minggu kepergianmu. 

Hati membuak untuk pulang ke rumah tetapi ada halangan disaat itu. 

Dapat khabar dari bekas tunangmu yang menyatakan dirimu sudah tiada. 

Hanya Allah sahaja tahu apa yang adikmu rasa disaat itu. 

Disaat itu adikmu ini tidak sedarkan diri manakala sahabat sahabat adikmu ini gigih kejutkan.

Allahu Akbar. 

Allahu Akbar.

Allahu Akbar.

Hebat sangat Allah menguji adikmu ini Angah. 

Sepanjang perjalananku menuju ke jenazahmu. 

Kaki adikmu ini lemah. 

Mata kering dengan airmata. 

Suara terus membisu. 

Acik memelukku erat, tersangatlah erat.

Dari raut wajahku hanya Dia yang tahu. 

Melihat badanmu terbaring diatas katil mayat itu tanpa titisan darah pun. 

Sudah membuat hatiku kosong saat itu. 

Ya Allah, aku baru sedar ini baru kehilangan dirimu Angah. 

Sungguh aku tak dapat bayangkan sekiranya suatu hari nanti, Allah mengambil semua ahli keluargaku. 

Angah, adikmu ini tidak pernah lupa sekalipun segala nasihat yang pernah kau berikan. 

Adikmu akan terus kuat untuk memberi senyuman baru kepada keluarga kita. 

In syaa Allah Angah, kita jumpa disana nanti. 

Doa dariku tidak pernah putus untukmu.

Semoga engkau tenang disana. 

Semoga engkau dalam kalangan orang soleh dan beriman. 

Nantikan adikmu ini. 

Sekali sekala datanglah jenguh adikmu yang comel ini. 

Mama, Abah, Abe, Acik, Kak Long, Abang Zaidi, Farisya, Rayyan semua rindukan Angah.

-- AL-FATIHAH --  

Muhd Fahimi B Ismail 

(1987-2013)

"Kehilanganmu dalam hidupku tersangatlah perit kerana kehadiranmu sebagai abang keduaku sangatlah memberi kegembiraan dalam hidupku. Terima Kasih Angah"

Beware

Here, I just want to give advice to all the girls or woman,

Who currently know someone's heart, 

Beware and be careful,

We can't expected anything from them, 

Even tho you're heart already fall in love with him, 

But you must know one thing. 

Not all the boys that we knows is a kind man, 

Sometimes they also have their intentions, 

Maybe bad or good but, 

We didn't know that, 

That's why I just want to remind that, 

Don't give your heart 100% to him. 

Because, 

Anytime bad thing can happen. 

Don't put high hopes from them. 

Stand up by your own feet and enjoy your day with your families or friends. 

Let's together be a successful woman. 

Let them know that, 

We as a woman can survive without their money, love and attention. 

I said all this because I don't want the same thing happen to you. 

Because, 

Before this, I know someone and I truly love him but, 

He decided to lost contact with me and not care about me at all. 

Yeah, I know it's hard to get through your day after that. 

But believe me that it's just a temporary. 

After a months, 

You'll be more happy without them. 

And now, 

My world is only think about my family and studies. 

Alhamdulillah that Allah show all this and give me a strength to keep move on my daily routine. 

There's must a reason why all those thing happen to me before this. 

Thank you Allah. 

May You forgive all my sins what I've done to You. 

Thank you Allah for cover my shame in front of them.

 

 

p/s : And now, I don't believe and put high hopes from men.

Independent

She is an independent woman. 

But at the same time, she wants to be loved. 

She wants to be treated with care by her beloved ones. 

She is and independent woman. 

But at the same time, she wants to be loved. 

She wants to be treated with care by her loved ones. 

She is juggling between work, studies and social life. 

Maintaining a relationship and putting effort is one of the hardest things for her. 

But you know what ?

She tried her best. 

But people tend to ignore her efforts and capabilities on everything and she gets tired of trying. 

Her other half ignored her the whole day. 

Focusing on his passion, work and friends.

She is missing him so much but she couldn't do anything.

She only wanted attention and a little bit of time. 

She demanded a moral support that she couldn't get from anyone from the time being. 

Putting efforts & seeing all your efforts goes to waste is one of the hardest things to see. 

People around her have taken her for granted. 

She is worrying how to make more money for herself and her family. 

Just because she is independent woman and she can earn own money. 

As an independent woman, she doesn't want to trouble anyone with her problems. 

When people trying to help her, she insisted on doing by herself.

I admire her determination. 

I admire independent woman all over the world. 

Not everyone can make their own ways in making money. 

One day people will treat her right because she is one of a kind. 

People tend to overlook how wonderful she is and how kindhearted she is. 

What I can see is that she is different. 

She has her own opinions. 

She know how to handle problems. 

She knows her needs and wants. 

Her family is priority. 

She never left her family members behind. 

She knows that at the end of the day, family comes first. 

She is amazing.

How can you take these amazing woman for granted ?

Some people only realize what they've been missing when they lose something. 

Sad truth. 

Despite of walking up feeling like shit. 

She is going to slay and get shit done anyways. 

Nothing can break her because she had enough. 

She is an independent woman & I love her. 

Thanks Mama. 

Thanks Acik. 

Thanks Kak Long. 

The end. 

Reminder

When people left you, do the same. 

You've wasted so much time wondering why people left you. 

Feelings faded. 

People will change somehow. 

So don't expect much from anyone. 

Focus on yourself first because nobody is going to help you except yourself 

and don't waste your effort and time on those people anymore. 

People think I am stronger because of I have been through so many things. 

Truth is, I am not. 

I am still hurting when everyone is leaving. 

I decide to stop chasing people anymore. 

I decide to stop getting my hopes high on anymore. 

Because at the end of the day, everyone leaves. 

Tired of wondering when I will be enough for those people that I care about. 

I am just done trying to offer a help. 

I am the one who needs help. 

So now I am focusing more on myself. My health. My mental health. My passion. My friends & family. 

Most important thing is, my own happiness. 

It's true. 

Manusia tak akan bersyukur dengan apa dia ada until one day dia kehilangan semua yang dia ada. 

Be grateful. That's the key. 

Self-reminder. 

When people treated you like shit, do the same. 

When people left you, do the same. 

Stop letting people treat you like trash. 

What I realize is that you never appreciate what you have. 

One day, you will. 

And that time, it will be too late for you to come back. 

Never let anyone to treat you like you don't matter. 

Because you are special 💗